30.6.04

Quicky
the quickest entry ever..... well eventful week, full of once in a life times.....went to RSPCA to help sister find a new pet, which was a traumatic event for all....walked away empty handed which was nothing personal, but ouch it hurt walking away.... poor puppies either stare to get eye contact and send telepathic signals telling me"take me" OR avoid all eye contact what so ever so that their lil hearts dont break. oh dear, bless em.
went to drive in, very very fun. my room nearly packed up, having hassle tracking down records for doctor needed for me to leave this sweet country, damne immunistation records!! outta control but will work out.
and whatever ...i went and treated me to some new shoes, pink slip like things, with black polter dots....feeling very cool right now. dad visiting and birthday parties this weekend so its busy busy busy. things to do people to see......
oh Brooke da chook i hope Tokyo is being kind to you. make sure theres no puddy puddys in you suitcase when you leave,xx

touchtyped by kate at 4:25 PM ♥

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25.6.04

excuse me
umm hello
hello!!
oh yes feeling a little frustrated with people at the moment. umm just asking for a little aknowledgement, encouragement,interest, any emotions of any sort really, but then again i guess its not healthy to think like that. Its nice to have a site where i can empty some of this stuff out from my head, as sometimes its feels like nobody is listening. does anyone care i am about to leave again?? i cant be too manic, i do have support and all that but the going-ons over the next couple months to year are freaking me out, and its sometimes feels as if talking about it, to people i would've thought would be happy and interested in it for me,is a hassel and too egocentric of me. OH GOD LISTEN TO THIS PRE MENSTRAL CHICK oh she outta control.
I have told all my bosses now which has kicked reality in... and helped to feel more relaxed about it being the right decision. i have notified most of the important ones left in melbs and i got dates already, scared i will spend my life savings, NO I WILL NOT!!!
Its going to be so strange going back there, it and i were ment to be together i tell ya. watch out Chaple Sun i be ordering some satay in no time, oh god how neglectful of me...i've forgotten my number!
whats with the fluffy ass white cat strutting round my front yard like he owns the place?? woof woof.
will write when in a lighter mood i think

touchtyped by kate at 9:59 PM ♥

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19.6.04

having fear and dreams and feeling sad yet excited are all things that help you realise you're living right? this week has been another one of pressure, opportunities, and overwhelming emotions... i am starting to convince myself that i feel sick and all that but its just nerves right?
first of all i farewelled dear Bee at the airport very early this morning which was and i think is still really surreal....but i am so absolutely most positively so excited for her....like i said oh god, in a matter of hours you will be blown away by Tokyo lights!! that is so exciting, i just cant explain it. i did infact wait around to make sure she walked up those steps and on to the plane, oh i could just see her legging it across the runway in to the darkness.
and secondly i have decided (and although i have doubts every other second) and am happy to say i will be heading back to Melbourne for a little stay next month. nervous...happy....excited....sad as but oh well i thinking tha sun will come out tomorrow. its gonna be so great, just know its just gonna be the slow lead up to me catching my international flight and not touching oz ground again for a year, thats a little frightening. so happy to be able to lerk around my favourite streets in melbourne, and see all the old minges.
one boss told.....about three more to go....
oh god what am i doing???

touchtyped by kate at 5:51 PM ♥

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15.6.04

i need clarity!

isn't life just full of little twists and turns??? well this morning i was thrown a big one...... i am saving money well and am hoping to be leaving for U.S. in a couple months, and i have now been offered the opportunity to go work in Melbourne again for a month.... my family will say i am crazy but hello! of course i am considering it. all i know is my feet are itchy (need to get the show on the road) and i dont handle pressure very well....confussion all around!
nothing left to do now except write a pro and con list....

touchtyped by kate at 1:40 PM ♥

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14.6.04

just when i think i have seen all there is to see along the south australian coast i discover new land and beaches that i never knew exsisted. i spent most of the weekend rugged up like an eskimo but hanging on these pebbled beaches along the coast somewhere. it felt like a foreign place. chilling, just chilling.

then i return home and decide to go for a walk along the beach at the bay and walking walking occassionally breaking out in song to my magnificant chilli chill cd, when all of a sudden i get considerably wet from the waves crashing on the rocks....bound to happen really. i remember when i first moved to melbourne, a friend of mine was helping me catch the tram to a job interview. it ws a rainy day but fortunetly we were heading out while there was a little break in the down pour, anyway we were at a stop on St Kilda Road,i was feeling confident and relaxed about the public transport thing as well as meeting some potential employers, when SPLASH!!! i got drenched by a car driving through a puddle right outside the tram stop.. twasnt pretty, but once again bound to happen. and i got that job!

well Merlins big brother eviction political statement(he put tape over his mouth and carried a sign saying "Free ta Refugees" and then refused to speak to Gretel) has made me fantasies about what messages i could express and statemant i could make if i were infact in the house, then evicted and strutting down the bridge walky thing in my 5 minutes of fame..... could it be???
* i didnt do it!
*rip it
or *with a name like Merlin you shouldve been out a long time ago.
........love his work tho, but that look in his eyes did kinda scare me.

Petes been out of my life for 7 months now but the thought that i will meet him in New York one day soon, brings comfort. CHicKeN!!!!

touchtyped by kate at 6:50 PM ♥

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10.6.04

feeling the neglect?? build a bridge.

well arent i feeling like a little mix bag of emotions this week? yes i am. i feel i could blame many different things but will shrug it off as a winter thing. do i really hwate winter this much? it hasnt really even started yet which is what i think i am freaking about. i need sunshine, or like a seedling i wont grow and blossom.

been visiting my Nan in hospital for over a week now, which isnt pleasant but bless her she still talking my ear off while being on morphine, the little trooper. i havent had to visit someone in the hospital for a long time. its always weird, i never know where to look while strutting down, what feels like tunnels. i hear talking coming out of a room, glance over but as soon as i see someone or movement i whiz my head round to the front and pretend i didnt see anything. i can remember being in the hospital when i was younger,after getting some hideous stitches in my leg, and after being stuck in bed for days.....i finally felt like getting up and having a look outside the room that had slowly been sending me mad,so i hovelled over...opened the door...looked directly in to the room across from me,the lights were out but i could see this body laying on the bed. FUCK i turned round and jumped back into bed and froze. i felt sick and started to cry. it turns out that it was just the creepy St Johns dummy thing the town used to practise CPR on, if i remenber correctly the bitches name was Annie. oh how i hate her, even til this day. i was so scared.

Had to say a little goodbye to Bee who has left Adelaide for a couple weeks til she flies overseas. we hoping to catch up one last time before its Bon Voyage time, but this felt like our real goodbye. told her the next time will be quick as, oh it makes me so sad! but yet so happy(for her) we will meet again one day babe,in this mad mad world.
Change is hard. she gone, tree going somewhere...sometime,me going, others coming,staying oh its all over the place but while i sound like i am wollowing in sadness and all that, i am actually really excited bout it all.i promise.

been having a little Stanley Kubrick week.Theres been so much on telly its fantastic. i got to watch Clock Work Orange for the first time, which is crazy that i have never seen it as i think its brillaint. i guess i had it in my head that it would mess me up a little or something,but i now know that i love it, although my reception was so bad i could hardly see his face, oh i know the voice though.

well i am getting sick off these long weekends interfering with my Monday afternoons off, i dont want to share the. this one is actually not to bad, as usually everyone i know goes away and i am left in the big smoke, still true this week but i do have the pleasure of catching up with two different interstate bitches, that are visiting. it shall be a family holiday

Lolita on soon so gotta go make the popcorn, in that i mean defrost my feet and brush my teeth.

touchtyped by kate at 9:21 PM ♥

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1.6.04

golly gosh my slepping pattern is up da creek if ya know what i mean, but hey cant complain as late night telly was good lastnight and i get to sleep in 3 mornings this week. With a crooked neck mind you, ouch somebody should do something about the 5 pillows on my bed! i was violated to see that Empty Nest was on, hmmm yuk.
BBcho on Friday was delicious as can be, ha rain didnt scare us off. i had a funish night and no scooters got scratched but still fingers been pointed. feel like biting it off but will do the lady like thing and laugh it off! ho ho
B came and joined me for 24 lastnight, for which i had to clear the room as if you not a fan of it you gotta go, coz there is strictly no talking during it. opps think i chitter chattered a little. alright only a couple weeks til B sets off to see the world which is making me very sad faced. boo hoo jetting around the world rockstar cry cry.
hmm crumpets, i think i hear my name

touchtyped by kate at 11:48 AM ♥

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